For those of you still getting to know me, I need to give a little background about myself before I get into the good stuff of this post! Like my little "about me" section says, I have three kids. A 7 year old girl, a 5 year old boy, and a 1 year old girl. I am a licensed nail tech and up until recently, I have been a full time mom during the week and just did nails on Saturdays. I love to be social and I love to be creative so my part time nail job let me do both all while bringing in extra income for my family and allowing me to be with kids as much as I wanted.
I have wanted to do hair since I was a little girl. My plan was to go back to cosmetology school during the day once my youngest was in elementary. Well this last summer I kept having this feeling that I needed to start school. I kept brushing it off because that wasn't the plan and I have 3 little kids to take care of. The feeling didn't go away and I finally knew that it was what I was supposed to do. I went and enrolled and started in November. This has been a huge change for my whole family. My kids have never been in daycare so it has definitely been a curveball for them. Because they started daycare, I needed a way to pay for it so I took on a job sewing for my friend who has a darling online newborn photography prop business. I still do nails as well on Saturdays. Chance was always used to just getting up and getting ready and going to work. But now he has to help me get the kids ready in the morning and we take turns dropping them off.
I'm telling you all of this because our schedules went from pretty laid back to extremely jam packed overnight. We have all had to adjust. Since starting school, I have had so many sweet friends say to me in person or text me things like "How are you doing all this, you must be superwoman". First of all, you don't know how good you have made me feel. Every time someone has said something like this, I have been having a meltdown and it is just what I needed to hear at the time.
As moms in this day and age, there is so much pressure to look amazing, have kids that look like models, have a spotless house, a gourmet meal on the table, all while having time to work out and get 8 hours of sleep! I have found myself so many times looking at social media and being sad because I felt like all the moms around me were accomplishing all of this while I wasn't even checking one thing off that list that day. I have realized that it usually seems that way when in reality, we are all feeling exactly the same. I think the main reason we get this impression is because we all only post about the happy, exciting things happening in our lives. Obviously nobody wants to post about their kids in the same clothes they wore the day before, the dishes piled up in the sink, your hair that hasn't been washed in 4 days, etc.
But I think we can agree that we have all been there. Whether you are "just" a stay at home mom or you are a mom and a student, or a working mom, or any scenario in between, life is busy and hard. When I compare my situation of being a stay at home mom to my situation now of working, going to school, and being a mom, I don't think life was any easier when I was "just" a mom. Although it was a blessing to be with my kids all the time, being a mom is not only physically wearing, it is emotionally wearing and can take it's toll on you. I think that whatever situation you're in at the time, you find your challenges and the things you love.
So my answer to everyone who has asked how I do what I am doing, this is it-
1: Set Priorities
You cannot do it all so you have to decide what is most important to you. I go crazy when my house is a mess but since starting school, I have had to learn to just "let it go". I have had to learn that sometimes my house is going to be a mess but that means that I took time to take my kids to the park that day. The next day, my house might be clean but that means I went to bed a lot later than I would have liked. I have had to learn that I just have to take it one day at a time and what is most important to me that day.
2: Look At the Big Picture
When I say that I have had some meltdowns, I am not exaggerating. This has honestly been the hardest thing I have ever done. I am beyond exhausted All. The. Time. If I look at the here and now, I feel defeated really fast. But if I take a step back and look at the big picture, I am quickly reminded that this is a temporary situation. As soon as I finish school, I will be back to working part time, I will be with Chance and my kids a lot more, and I will be doing what I love. So during this process, I really try to focus on how lucky I am to be in school, have two really awesome jobs that feel more like hobbies, and that I have a husband and kids that are supporting me in reaching my dreams.
3: Find Great Child Care
I can't emphasize this one enough. If my kids were going somewhere everyday that I wasn't comfortable with, I wouldn't have made it one week in school. My kids are everything to me and if I don't feel like they are safe, happy, and well taken care of, I can't leave them. I did a ton of research for child care and I was able to find someone who takes excellent care of my kids. During this stressful time, I don't have to sit and wonder if they're ok when I'm away.
4: Do Something For You
This is a hard one for us ladies. We love to take care of everyone else before ourselves. We are constantly thinking of everything we need to get done. I believe that amidst all the chaos, it is crucial that we take time for us. This is the reason I started this blog. I have wanted to start one for a long time and I just felt like now was a good time. Because I am so busy, I don't want to do something for myself that takes me away from my family any more than I am already gone. This is a way of doing something that I enjoy and I can do it while the kids are working on homework or once they've gone to bed. Whether it's going for a walk or getting a massage, it is so important to take some time out for YOU!
5: Find Your "Why"
You have to have a "why". If you don't, you will quit when you are having a hard day. A few weeks ago, I hadn't slept at all, I didn't feel good, I was overwhelmed with school, and I really was considering dropping out. I went to some of my instructors sobbing. Once I started telling them that I was frustrated because I knew that this was what I was supposed to do so I didn't know why it was so hard, I remembered exactly why I was doing this. This is something I have wanted to do FOREVER. I know that when I'm done, I will be able make more money and I will be doing what I love and am passionate about. And lastly, I am setting an example to my kids of how important getting an education is to me and how hard work always pays off. The other night, I walked into the kitchen to this sight-
I was downstairs folding laundry and came up to her doing her dolls hair. It was the cutest, sweetest sight. I said I loved it and she said "mommy, I want to do hair just like you when I grow up". I knew that my decision to go back to school, as hard as it is at times, is exactly what I am supposed to be doing. No matter what phase of mom life you are in, I know that it is hard. But I know that it is so worth it. Just remember that we are all in the same journey and we are all doing the best we can. I look up to all you moms so much and your compliments have flattered me and picked me up more than you know. Thanks so much.
The Red Brick Blondie
