Mother's Day Series: A Tribute To My Mom

I meant to post this one on Mother's Day but I spent the day with a very sick baby! But better late than never, right?

As I've thought about what to say about my mom, it's been hard to come up with the words to describe how amazing she really is. When I was 3, my mom got toxic shock syndrome and was very, very sick. She was in and out of the hospital a lot. And because of this, my parents had astronomical amounts of medical debt. But I never knew this until I was older. Despite her being sick and their very tight budget, my mom always made holidays magical and unforgettable. She made gourmet dinners every single night. She took the time to sew handmade outfits for me when I was little. One of my favorite memories was when my mom would walk me and my brothers to the gas station to pick out a treat and then we would go to the park. We did that a lot. My mom devoted all of her time to her kids and to making sure we were happy.

If I had to sum up my mom to one word it would be "service". My mom is constantly helping someone in need. She is always looking for the opportunity to lift someone's burden. And she does it quietly as to not bring attention to herself. 

My mom lights up the room wherever she goes. Her young hearted spirit and contagious laugh brings a smile to the faces of everyone around her. You can't know my mom and not love her.

Over the years, my mom has had to see her own children go through trials that no mother ever wants to watch. But I know that my mom was given those burdens because she has an unwavering faith that can and does get her through anything. Her love and testimony of Jesus Christ is one of the strongest of anyone I know and it is something I am grateful that she passed onto me. 

My mom isn't just an amazing mom but also an amazing grandma. She has 5 granddaughters and 1 grandson by blood who love her dearly. But she has about 100 other children who she is a second grandma to. My mom has always connected with the youth and she has the hearts of so many sweet kids that she has come close to over the years.

I love my mom so much and I am so grateful for everything that she has done for me over the years. She has been my biggest cheerleader and a shoulder to cry on. She helps me so much with my kids and she has already supported me so much at school by coming to get her hair done. She really is the bee's knees. 

I love you mom and happy belated Mother's Day!

The Red Brick Blondie

Mother's Day Series: Marie and her girls

As most of you know, I have an older sister, Marie. Her and I have been super close from the beginning but with 7 years between us, we were always in a different phase of life growing up. Well even though we're 7 years apart, her and I had our first babies just a year and a half apart, hers first. So we figured out this whole "being a mom thing" together. It brought us even closer than before and has been so fun to raise our kids at the same time and see them doing and accomplishing a lot of the same things. I have always looked up to Marie and she has been a great example to me of a loving, selfless mom. I love my nieces and am so glad that my kids have them for their best friends. Here are Marie's thoughts on motherhood:

"I am honored that Kimmy asked me to share a few thoughts about motherhood on her darling blog! Being a mom is the best job in the whole world, so it’s something that I really like to think, talk, (and even write) about! Kimmy is my example in so many ways. She is one of my best friends. She teaches me to let loose a little, be spontaneous, and have some unscheduled fun! I look up to her as a mother and I know that she is loyal and devoted to her three cute kiddos. As an aunt, she has mothered and influenced my sweet daughters in so many ways. I love you Kimmy! Happy Mother’s Day to you!

For me, motherhood is deeply spiritual. Motherhood is a partnership with God. Motherhood is a form of godliness. Motherhood is divine and sacred and everlasting. It is an eternal responsibility. Motherhood will never end, not even after this life is over. Motherhood is an act of creation, a power of which is given to us by God. God has been with me in every part of my journey as a mom. I felt God’s watchful care and protection over me during each of my two pregnancies. I felt His presence at the births of our daughters (confirming that their perfect spirits had just come His presence). I felt His comforting peace when both our daughters were diagnosed with a rare, incurable genetic disorder at birth. I felt Him teaching me when I wasn’t sure how to get my newborn to nurse or to sleep through the night. I feel His guidance now as I ask Him how He would want me to raise and teach our daughters. I feel His strength when I am burdened by the weight of motherhood or by my own inadequacies and imperfections as a mother. Mostly, I feel His great and abundant love for me, His own daughter, and our two daughters, who also belong to Him. One of the greatest gifts of motherhood has been learning how much God loves me. I didn’t understand the depth of His love until I was blessed with the opportunity to be a mother. As I fell instantly and crazy in love with our two baby girls, and I knew immediately I would do anything for them to help and protect them, it taught me in a personal way how much Heavenly Father loves me. Therefore, motherhood, to me, is simply LOVE.

Here are a few other beautiful (and sometimes painful!) lessons that motherhood has taught me:

Motherhood requires sacrifices and selflessness

Nothing pulls at my heartstrings like seeing my
children sad, sick, or in pain

“Mother Bear” is real! That natural defense mechanism appears out of nowhere when our kids are threatened in any way!

The best moments of my day are spent with my sweet girls and their daddy (whom I love more and more every day as I see him act in his role as a father)

I never knew what some of my weaknesses were until I became a mom. Motherhood has been a great magnifier of my weaknesses (sigh)

There’s not a sweeter feeling than seeing my kids learn a new skill or accomplish something that used to be hard for them to do

The simplest moments are made wonderful because of the innocence and joy of my children

It’s satisfying to see my kids make good choices, think about other people, and serve each other

Cooking with them is fun!

Creating traditions and memories is really important

My kids teach me more than I will ever be able to teach myself

Kids are forgiving…even when their mom makes mistakes

I love experiencing childhood through their eyes. It is magical!

Mother's Day Series: "Mom is a title just above Queen"

This is a super sweet story about my friend Shantay and her adorable baby, Cooper. Shantay and I went to highschool together and reconnected a couple years ago on Facebook. I was pregnant with Scout at the same time she was so it was fun to see all of her pregnancy updates! Her little boy is so adorable and she is such a sweet mama. I have a special place in my heart for her because she is a type 1 diabetic like Chance and I know how hard that alone would make pregnancy. Here is her incredible story:

"This is what the beginning of motherhood looked like for me.

I had never planned on being a mother, a wife, or taking care of anyone besides myself. I had friends who already had decided on having  6 children and their names picked in high school. I just never saw that for myself. I wanted to dedicate myself to school, and if a family came along, then maybe I would change my plans.

I met my husband in June of 2009, and then everything changed. My school plans quickly changed from med school, to the easiest major I could find so I could graduate and begin a career. I still didn't have children on my radar.

After we had been married a year I decided that I would go off of birth control and if we got pregnant it would be time to start our family. Well... another year went by and nothing happened. At my yearly doctors appointment I expressed my concerns to my OB because I just felt something wasn't right. After months and months of blood work, MRI's, hysterosalpingograms, ultrasounds, and CT's we found that I had a pituitary tumor, my hormone levels were way off, and my body wasn't ovulating.

From there I was told I needed to wait to get pregnant (as if I even could) another 6 months to a year, or until I was given medical clearance. I still was never baby hungry, but being told I COULDN'T have a baby, really made me want to try. At that point I decided I would wait the 6 months, then I wanted to try fertility treatments. I called my insurance company to see what I needed to do to get a referral to an infertility specialist, and I was completely surprised to find out that my husbands employer and insurance company covered the University of Utah Center for Reproductive Medicine and they would cover up to $30,000 of fertility treatments.

This was a huge sign to me that I needed to do everything in my power to try to have a baby. I booked my first appointment and spent months and months getting ready for my first round of treatment. Long story short, after 5 failed IUI's (intrauterine insemination aka: artificial insemination) we decided IVF (in-vitro fertilization) was our last option.

A year and a half of fertility treatments, I finally was pregnant  after a successful first round of IVF. We were able to get 4 embryos. I had to argue with the doctors to convince them to transfer 2 embryos at a time. They were very adamant that I should only carry 1 baby at a time. I felt very strongly I needed 2 embryos. Call it fate, God, or whatever you want, but I just knew. I made them transfer 2 embryos and 1 of them worked.

This was our miracle. I knew it. It was so worth all of the hard, sad, stressful, painful, and emotional struggles. I was finally a mom.

Pregnancy sucks. It was cruel and unusual punishment.  I kept waiting for the "glow" to happen, but I was just green and fat. I am Type 1 diabetic so I was told I would get to deliver at 37 weeks, and I was thrilled to be given 3 weeks off. Despite my difficult pregnancy, things were pretty normal until I hit 28 weeks. I never really felt the baby move. Every now and then I would get a kick or 2, but not the 5-10 per hour I was supposed to be feeling. I had really high levels of amniotic fluid, which gave baby plenty of swimming pool and gave reason behind not feeling movement.

At my 28 week ultrasound the doctors started noticing more problems. They told me that baby's long bones were measuring short. I said, "ok well that's weird my husband is 6'4." It was then they told me the baby had a form of skeletal dysplasia. Huh? They asked me if I had ever heard of dwarfism. I had, but I had no clue really what they were telling me. From there the only thing I heard was them tell me there was a chance baby's lungs wouldn't develop because the chest could be too small and baby might not survive after birth. They asked me if I wanted to have an amniocentesis to know for sure, or if I just wanted to wait until delivery to know for sure. I opted to have the tests done right there, and I went home and fell into the deepest depression of my life. I was a mess for days. I couldn't stop crying and I just knew that this pregnancy was too good to be true. I knew there was a reason I'd told myself not to get my hopes up. A week later my test results came back positive for Achondroplasia (a-con-dro-play-ja). Achondroplasia, or achon for short, is the most common form of dwarfism. It is characterized by short arms and legs, big heads, and trident hands. Achondroplasia is not a lethal form of dwarfism, but some babies die after birth from not being able to breathe. This finally gave me hope.

From there I started trying to accept my new reality. I kept trying to learn as much as I could about Achondroplasia but everything I was finding online was scaring me. The medical conditions people with achon face seemed overwhelming and I still just felt hopeless. I was so miserable and just didn't want to be pregnant anymore. The doctors gave me the option to terminate my pregnancy, but I don't believe in that. Then I turned to instagram, and typed in the hashtag #Achondroplasia and the cutest kids I'd ever seen popped up. I then discovered this whole community that I didn't know about. I reached out to other moms to answer questions that the doctors just couldn't. I finally was excited to meet our little guy and I knew that things would be ok.

Our perfect little Cooper came into the world on November 5th, 2014. From the moment I saw him I was just in love. I never knew that I could love something or someone so strong. He became the only thing that mattered in life. He was just small,  that's all.

The first year of Cooper's life was full of doctors appointments and tests. It was obvious we had a very special boy who was so strong. He handled 2 major surgeries and 6 MRI's with anesthesia like a champ. I can honestly say I think all of the medical issues were harder on mom & dad than on Coop. But his sweet smile and that adorable laugh always let me know that he's happy. I'm so grateful for modern medicine and great doctors that helped us get him here and to keep him healthy.

Being a mom has taught me so much. It's taught me that life is precious, and sometimes it's hard. But there is nothing better than watching someone grow. Cooper impresses me with each and every milestone he accomplishes. He rolled over, and I cried. He picked up a piece of food, I cried. He said "dog," I cried. He stood up, and I bawled. It's a miracle that with lots of help I made those two cells that grew into this amazing, thinking, smart, funny, beautiful thing. Motherhood truly is a blessing. He makes me so proud and he makes me feel like I have a place in this life, because I'm Cooper's mom. It's the hardest & best job in the world.

With that being said I want to touch base on motherhood being so much more than actually having a baby. I've only experienced a minute of the heartache that other women feel everyday who are unable to have children. I've been so lucky and blessed to be given a healthy baby. But the one things it's taught me is that LOVE is the most important thing. Moms are important because they LOVE you no matter what. Motherhood is LOVE. If you have unconditional LOVE for anything, that is what a mom is. So for those who don't have hopes of having a child of their own, have LOVE. Whether it's love of being an aunt, a dog-mom, a house, a car, a person, a complete stranger. To love and nurture is a natural womanly instinct. Please don't let the hardship of infertility or anything keep you from your natural instinct to love & nurture. Just have LOVE.

Everyday I'm thankful to be a mom. I sometimes have to remind myself this when I'm tired, or cleaning up puke, or listening to a screaming child- but I'm thankful. Being a mom is a blessing and I'm so thankful there's a whole day just for moms, even though they don't get that day off. One day Cooper may hate me, but I'll still love him. That's just what moms do. I know my mom still loves me.

"Mom is a title just above Queen" -Anonymous

If you have any questions about Achondroplasia or dwarfism please visit www.understandingdwarfism.com or www.justsmallthatsall.com.

Mother's Day Series: Kim and Jude

Hey everyone, if you're from my neck of the woods, I really hope your house hasn't blown away! We still have crazy, scary winds and have been out of power for hours! If you're not from my neck of the woods, be grateful!

I am so excited that May has arrived because I have been planning this for months. I am going to be doing a Mother's Days series here on my blog. I have asked some awesome mamas to guest post about their experience of motherhood and I know that it's going to be so great!

The first person I asked is a really good friend of mine, Kim Garrett. Her and I met four years ago when we were working as cashiers at the hospital and we just hit it off from the beginning. I cannot tell you how amazing of a person she is. I look up to her more than she will ever know. Here is her story of becoming a mom:

"One of my biggest dreams after getting married was becoming a mother.  As much as Tucker and I tried, it seemed that it wasn't meant to be.  With waiting for a year to finally get pregnant but then 2 miscarriages to follow, it seemed it would never come.

Finally one day I knew- I knew I was pregnant, and I knew this one was ok.  I had a lot of time to think about what motherhood was going to be.  

On September 10, 2015 it finally happened.  I became a mother.  I had dreamed of this moment for almost 3 years.  Jude Konrad Garrett was born, but the moment that followed wasn't what I had been imagining. From the moment he was born we could tell something wasn't quite "normal" even though we hadn't been told yet- the medical staff had left the room to talk.  Finally my doctor peaked her head back in the room and asked if she could talk to us.  We said yes, and with wide eyes she put her hand on my shoulder and said "We think your kiddo has Down syndrome."  

From that time my idea of motherhood was never the same.  

I was told by all sorts of people what it was going to be like to be the mom if a child with Down syndrome. Most are not true.  With Jude- like with ANY other child- he doesn't fit a mold or stereotype.  He's just Jude, like I am just Kim and you are just you.

As Jude's mom I am a cheerleader.  Jude and I get to work on lots of things to help his development, and the best feeling ever is when he does it!  It makes my mamma heart so proud!  We love to celebrate.

I am a singer.  Jude loves to scream- I mean sing! Nothing brings a bigger smile to that boys face than singing songs and dancing. We could sing and laugh for ever.

I am a caregiver. I don't know Jude's future- just like any mother doesn't know her child's future.  I very well could be Jude's care taker for the rest of his life.  I had to come to terms with that thought and possibility.  This doesn't mean Jude won't get married or be independent!  It's actually very possible that he could- many adults with Down syndrome get married and become independent.  I just have to keep that thought in my mind.

I am an advocate.  Some people like to think they know everything there is to know about Jude just because they know he has Down syndrome.  I get to remind them of all the amazing things he can do.  I've been told that Jude was going to fail to thrive, that he can't jump in his jumper, he isn't going to roll over, etc.  I then take that information and decide for Jude and our family what's best.  (We usually choose to not follow their advice 😉.)

When Jude was born I had to change my idea of motherhood.  But wouldn't you say every mother does?  

Being a mother of Jude there have been a lot more tears, worries, and bills than I thought possible.  Sometimes I sit and hold him and cry.  I cry because of the life I'm not sure I can offer him.  I cry because I worry I'm not being the mom he needs to succeed.  

Sometimes I sit and hold him and cry because he makes me so indescribably happy.  Being a mama is a lot of things: cheerleader, advocate, singer, and caregiver.  But the most important thing about being a mama is the love and happiness between a mom and her child".